Father's Memorable Punishment

Billy Ming Sing Lee was born in Shanghai before WWII to one of the richest families in China. (see post one.) Unfortunately, wealth did not protect Billy from the tentacles of deadly diseases. He contracted Scarlet Fever, and--while he survived--he permanently lost hearing in one ear. He doubly suffered, as his mother routinely berated him for "not listening." (see post two.) 

Unlike his mother—who had a quick flashpoint—Billy remembers only one time that his father punished him. It was a Sunday when the whole family gathered at #7 grandmother’s house. (Grandfather was the youngest of seven brothers, and so she was addressed as "seventh lady.") 

As she reclined on a couch smoking opium, she asked Billy who he would obey if there was a disagreement between her and his mother. Billy didn't hesitate in his answer. Each week the tutors had given him lessons in Confucian teachings. Certainly this was an opportunity for him to shine.

“One should always respect your elders, always listen to your grandmother.”

Word of this conversation got back to Billy’s mother. But instead of being proud of her intelligent son, she was furious. 

"How can you speak such nonsense?” she yelled, insisting Billy’s father dish out a punishment.

Billy Lee's father, a smart guy.

“My father summoned me to the second floor veranda. He pat me on the shoulder and said, ‘What you said at grandmother’s place made your mother very, very unhappy. You take a pillow and kneel on the pillow, look out the window at the sky, and think about it.’

“I didn’t know what the hell is going on. What did I say? How did it hurt my mother? Why didn’t my father tell me what the right thing to do was?

“I obeyed him (kneeling down on the pillow.) After five minutes, he said, ‘Okay, okay. Now you get it. Run along.’

“I was puzzled, but after decades I finally figured out he couldn't justify a punishment, he didn't want to hurt me. He just wanted to show to my mother –he had done his part making me kneel down and look serious. So he was a smart guy.”

(To be continued. Next: Advice to Teenager Leaving for America.)