Following A Dream With No Clue How To Get There

Recent Stanford MBA Grad Jason Jianyu Tu was born in 1989 in a small village 125 miles south of Xian--in what he termed a sixth-tier city--meaning, "there's a very slim chance you can be successful." (See post one.) His parents, well aware of this, searched for ways out of this small village, and eventually found a path to Xian. (See post two.) The big city of Xian--although only a hop, skip and a jump away--was like a different planet, with buses and fast food and a really tough school. (See post three.) Jason gave up trying to do well in school, instead focusing his energy where his passions lay: guitar and blockbuster movies. (See post four.)

His grades just got worse and worse.
“By the time I was going to take the college entrance exam, the headmaster came to me and asked, ‘So where do you think you’re going to end up?’
“I didn’t know how to answer. Everything that flashed into my mind was Jimmy Hendrix, American Rock Music, and Hollywood Blockbusters. So I told him, ‘I’m going to America.’”
While Jason held onto the dream of an American college, he had no idea how to get there.  The internet was in its infancy, so not many people had access. He fortunately had a friend with a connection and he blocked out times to go visit and do research. He learned that he would need to take two tests: a TOEFL "and something called an SAT." The TOEFL was offered in China, but the closest SAT-test site was about 900 miles away in Hong Kong.
“It took me a lot of time to prepare for that. A lot of Chinese students pay agents to help them prep for the test. I learned from scratch.

filing out of a Hong Kong SAT (WSJ)

“I scored perfectly in math. I got 800. But for verbal? Super bad. The highest score you could get was 800. I got 380.”
Jason still had this dream of getting into an American college--a top American college. “I applied to four or five: Princeton, Yale, Duke, Wash U. I got rejected by all but one. I got waitlisted at Wash U. I searched on the website to look up, ‘How do I get in once I get waitlisted?’
"They said that you have to send in supplemental materials that shows that you’re special. So I wrote a song, played guitar, recorded it and mailed it to them. I got accepted.”

It was then Jason realized that while he had the talent, he didn’t have the funding.
“When I moved to the city I kind of forgot the identity that I’m from a small village. I thought I was one of the city folk. I thought my family at least had some savings. I never thought about how would I finance myself. Being admitted out of the waitlist means that you have no scholarship at all. And it’s a private college: 40,000 a year. I had no way to get that money.”
All the family's effort--the saving, the bribing, the moving, the test-taking--seemed all for naught. It was a tense, depressing time.

(To be continued: The Box That Saved Jason)

Learning English from Blockbusters

Recent Stanford MBA Grad Jason Jianyu Tu was born in 1989 in a small village 125 miles south of Xian--in what he termed a sixth-tier city--meaning, "there's a very slim chance you can be successful." (See post one.) His parents, well aware of this, searched for ways out of this small village, and eventually found a path to Xian. (See post two.) The big city of Xian--although only a hop, skip and a jump away--was like a different planet, with buses and fast food and a really tough school. (See post three.)

Although Jason was discouraged, and said he “gave up" on his school work, he still did well enough to remain in the top class.  But something inside him had snapped. He was no longer interested in racing to be at the top of the class, no longer interested in studying math and science every waking moment. In fact,  he decided to learn something that had always interested him: guitar.

“My parents were not exactly okay with it. But I attended a boarding school so they didn’t know. By the time I attended high school, I played pretty decent. I started playing in a school band. I got into American rock music. Rock and blues—60’s, 70’s, 80’s. Do you know Jimmy Hendrix?”

Additionally, at night, when the dorm master called ‘lights out,’ and all Jason’s dorm-mates pulled out their emergency flashlights to continue studying, he pulled out a small DVD player to watch movies.

buying the latest blockbusters

“There were knock-off DVDs in China you could buy for 2RMB. My family was pretty poor, but my roommate had this small portable DVD player that I’ve never seen anywhere else. I borrowed this DVD-player and watched a lot of Blockbusters.”

Jason tried to mimic the accents. “When I first came over (to America) they thought I had a Brooklyn accent. “

But I’m getting ahead of the story.

(To be continued. Next: Following his Dream with No Clue How to Get There)

Hundred-Mile Move is Shock

Recent Stanford MBA Grad Jason Jianyu Tu was born in 1989 in a small village 125 miles south of  Xian--in what he termed a sixth-tier city--meaning, "there's a very slim chance you can be successful." (See post one.) His parents, well aware of this, searched for ways out of this small village, and eventually found a path to Xian. (See post two.) 

Jason remembers that one move—of 125 miles—as a shock. 

“When I first moved to Xian, I saw buses for the first time in my life. I’d never been to a KFC before. I’d only seen one on TV. KFC or McDonalds are luxury foods for kids.

"I grew up totally equipped with a different set of skills. When I was a kid I knew how to catch frogs and weasels and all kinds of little animals.”

Not only was Xian a big city, but his new school was much more competitive than he expected.

“In Chinese school, it’s really interesting. They have the normal curriculum and they also have something called an experimental class where they gather all top- performing students into one class and take a much harder curriculum—kind of like an honors class. As the top performer in my old county, I got into the top performer’s class. But, I totally sucked.”

Every two weeks they took an exam. Every time Jason ranked in last place.

“In China it’s much different. There’s no privacy. The teacher would project the rankings on the wall. Then she would pick on someone and spend like an hour asking, ‘Why did you do so badly?’

“For some people it is an incentive—they feel ashamed and want to do better. But for me it was, like, humiliating. And I just gave up. “

(To be continued. Next: Learning English from Blockbusters.)

Passport to 2nd-Tier City

Recent Stanford MBA Grad Jason Jianyu Tu was born in 1989 in a small village 125 miles south of  Xian--in what he termed a sixth-tier city--meaning, "there's a very slim chance you can be successful." (See post one.)

Jason’s parents understood this. His mother’s family had been moved as part of a great migration in the '50s and '60s during the Cultural Revolution, when Mao insisted city people experience life in the country. They were transferred from the 1st-tier city of Beijing to the “village across the river"--and were never able to move back. So, Jason's mother had watched the ebb and flow of life, and she understood how location affected people’s futures. She didn’t want that future for her only child. (At that time, the “one-child policy" was in full swing.)
“My parents are not so highly educated—they only had a high school education-- but they have a really clear mindset that if we stayed in that sixth-tier city there would be no chance for me to be successful.”
Moving from one city to the next is not as easy as just packing your bags. 

“One of the major problems that the Chinese government worried about in the past was that the population would just rush into the cities. So, they created this really absurd system called ‘household registration' (Hukou)."
It's almost like a passport to live in the village of your birth--and only the village of your birth.

"So, my family, we can travel to the cities. But, if you want to do anything—like attend school—it’s troublesome.”
And costly. To attend school—without the proper registration—would cost $1000, more than his mother earned in a year.
When Shenzhen, a territory near Hong Kong, started blooming after the British Handover in ’97, Jason’s father moved there “illegally” to make some money for the family. Meanwhile, Jason’s mother remained in a state-owned factory in Ankang and did her best to push for the family to be able to move to a better location.
“It (the factory) was super corrupt back in those days. Every Chinese New Year, she would spend half of the family savings to buy a small gold Buddha to bribe the official so that we could get a chance to move to the city. “

After ten years, Jason's family got their wish. They were given a change in household registration , a passport to the 2nd-tier city of Xian.

(To be continued. Next: Hundred-Mile Move is Shock.)

Stanford MBA Grad Reveals Classification of China's Cities

I first met 27-year-old Stanford M.B.A. Grad Jason Jianyu Tu when he came to give a talk at US-China People’s Friendship Association. I was struck then by his energy and enthusiasm, as well as his humor and use of the language. He reminded me of my son. So when I heard he was about to leave for China, I wanted to get his thoughts on record. He agreed to meet me, even though he had just graduated, even though he was packing, even though he had just married his girlfriend the week before.  Boundless energy and enthusiasm.

We met in a small coffee shop, the constant background laughter of the cashier belying the often-serious subject matter. Jason said he has been fighting to succeed his whole life. He was born in a town so small that he hesitated to say the name. “No one can recognize it if I say it.”

Jason Jianyu Tu In His Village Across the River

In fact, he often tells people he is from Xian, the old capital city in the center of China, famous for the Terracotta Warriors. “About 125 miles to the south of that is my hometown.  Ankang.” Actually, he admits, he’s not even from that small place, but an even smaller village “across the river” from there.

“In China people classify cities into different tiers.” He explained that this kind of classification started on the internet, but now everyone takes it as gospel. 

”I think it’s really racist, but it’s interesting to know. Beijing, Shanghai, Shenzhen: these coastal cities are considered first tier. Second-tier cities are provincial capitals, like Xian or Suzhou. Third-tier cities have some major factories or economic activity going on. 

“I always tell people, if you classify cities by tiers, I’m probably from a sixth-tier city. In other words, there’s a very slim chance that you can be successful.”

(To be continued. Next: Bribing Their Way To A 2nd Tier City.)

Solving Global Conflict: Just Be A Good Person

Well-respected architect and philanthropist, William Ming Sing Lee, was born into one of the wealthiest families in Shanghai. (see post one.) As a child, he wanted for nothing...except that which was unattainable: good health and a more empathetic mother. (see post two and post three.) While the war made some things--like great medical care--impossible, it gave him a window into western culture. He began studying at the Shanghai American School, and eventually came to study in the U.S. (see post four and post five.) While Billy's father prepared him for life in America, the man could not prepare Billy for what was to happen in China. (see post six.) Billy continued to persevere in America. He met many kind people along the way, and was forever touched by his homestay experiences. (See post seven.) Upon graduation, he worked for the renowned architect I.M. Pei, married, and built a loving family. Upon retirement, he returned to his hometown of Ningbo to offer his expertise, (see post eight.) and co-founded the 1990 institute to foster understanding between the U.S. and China. (see post nine.) He is currently working with Stanford to create a new area of academic studies: Friendship Sciences. (see post ten.)

As we talked so much about friendship, I asked Billy what he thought were the biggest challenges between the U.S. and China. His answer was simple.

“I don’t want to get into these political issues. Most arguments are not successful in resolving conflicts, as they are not based on empathy or compassion.

“If you keep talking about idealism, principles, and certain history, there’s no end to such a thing. For example, certainly the Japanese were ferocious --not all of them, but many of them were very cruel and inconsiderate. But, if you dwell on what your ancestors have suffered, and blame it on today’s people, then you believe that today’s people are exactly the same as your ancestors.

“I think most problems become real issues when people start to hate each other. I still think if your basic attitude is about relating with people, and you consider the other side’s people, you will have much more compassion toward one another.

Billy with New Friends: "Outstanding young China hands."

Billy with New Friends : Famous S.F. Twins

“My training as an architect starts off analyzing problems. It does not start off with the ideal of something beautiful. You have to create those, create the settings.

“I have no advice as to how to solve any of the political problems, except to solve my own basic behavior. As soon as you say, ‘We Americans and You Chinese,’ the problem has already begun." 

"Being a proud Chinese? Being a proud American? How does that make you better? You just need to be a good person.”

Teaching Our Children--And Ourselves--To Do Good Deeds

Well-respected architect and philanthropist, William Ming Sing Lee, was born into one of the wealthiest families in Shanghai. (see post one.) As a child, he wanted for nothing...except that which was unattainable: good health and a more empathetic mother. (see post two and post three.) While the war made some things--like great medical care--impossible, it gave him a window into western culture. He began studying at the Shanghai American School, and eventually came to study in the U.S. (see post four and post five.) While Billy's father prepared him for life in America, the man could not prepare Billy for what was to happen in China. (see post six.) Billy continued to persevere in America. He met many kind people along the way, and was forever touched by his homestay experiences. (See post seven.) Upon graduation, he worked for the renowned architect I.M. Pei, married, and built a loving family. Upon retirement, he returned to his hometown of Ningbo to offer his expertise. (see post eight.) He co-founded the 1990 institute to foster understanding between the U.S. and China. (see post nine.) 

Now, Billy is urgently calling for the creation of an international cross-cultural institute on friendship sciences, as he believes that human relations have been taken for granted—like the environment was forty years ago.  

He is presently awaiting a proposal from the directors of Stanford's Culture and Emotion Lab and the Stanford Center at Peking University to conduct a friendship-related research project. 

“At first the focus will be on U.S. and China, but hopefully the model will be embraced and further advanced by other institutions globally.”

He questions the way parents in different cultures now very simplistically bring up their children. 

“There’s a danger in today’s western--as well as Chinese or other—cultures: how we bring up our children, especially from a young age. As parents, we want to protect our own child from harm and from being cheated or bullied.  So we teach our children to make judgments.  So you start off with good and bad, black and white, because if you show them three different shades, they will become confused. It teaches people to be extremely judgmental, and extremely sure of their own philosophies. ‘And you can’t criticize us ‘cause we are shining stars.’

"Winning becomes the measure of success. That is a terrible Donald Trump mantra—‘we want to win.’ Everybody likes to win. I love to win, too. But I understand that winning isn’t everything. We need to learn more about compassion.”

Billy learned an important lesson from a Harvard neuropsychologist who discovered that--while most of us think the brain controls our behavior--we can actually control our brain.  

"We can tell our brain to think more positive thoughts and to be more kind and compassionate. Very first thing in the morning, you tell yourself, ‘I’m going to set out to do five good deeds today.’ Just tell yourself.  Then you do the deeds. Instead of saying, ‘This is right. This is wrong. This is love. This is not love.’ Encourage people to do good deeds. That makes friendship.”

Billy and Lucille with children and grandchildren: Be Smart But Kind

Recently, Billy was trying to think of what two words of advice he would leave to his grandchildren. Instead he thought of four: “Be smart but KIND."

(To Be Continued. Next and Final Excerpt: Solving Global Conflict)